Life on the edge

I got a book from the library today... A little 80 page 6x6 book.... it's called Life on the Edge parenting a Child with ADD/ADHD. I almost thought it was a funny.. tongue in cheek cartoonish book when I picked it up and thought I'd probably get a good laugh out of it. So tonight while I was waiting on the chicken in the oven I started to thumb through it.

You know those Epiphany kind of moments.... the one when things click... they make sense. When what you've been struggling with in your head and in your heart is finally just out there. When you feel like someone else FINALLY gets it..... Tonight was one of those nights! David Spohn gets it! I'll never talk to this man, I'll never know his kids, or his wife... and he'll never know me or my family... but OH MY GOD he gets it!!!

Everything I've ever felt or thought about Alex having ADHD is in this 80 page book. The torment, the worry, the pride, that love & joy, the fear for him, the concern for his brother and sister..... he just gets it!

If you have ever had a talk with me about Alex, ever seeing me struggling, heard me cry, or thought that I had no idea what I'm doing you need to read this book! Borrow it from the library, get it for a $1.97 from amazon.... just read this book so you'll know what I've been trying to tell you all along!!! :)

It's called Life on the Edge. Parenting a child with ADD/ADHD by David Spohn.

Here's a page from it...

Going out in public. Yes that's my kid so what?

Yes there is nothing quite like a loud public display of acting out by your child to make you feel completely incompetent and dysfunctional. If such displays weren't enough at home, they are even worse in a busy store. The turned heads & disapproving stares can add to the frustration you're already feeling. ADD kids don't have trained behavioral guide dogs, the don't have large ID bracelets that announce to the world that they have ADD that may include other psychological and/or learning problems. To the rest of the world they just look like spoiled, out of control kids and you of course look like a helpless ineffective parent.

Here is a suggestion in 2 parts. The first involves separating the child's behavior from your own. Who's acting out anyway? Chances are it's your child not you. Don't be embarrassed by behavior that isn't yours. Second, although people may pass judgement on you as a parent by what they see, who needs to impress such judgmental people anyway? Unless the behavior is truly causing someone harm, it's simply none of their business. they know NOTHING about what you're dealing with as a parent and you owe them NO explanation.

Ignore the stares as best you can and go about what you need to do. In no time no matter how shy or polite you are, you can perfect a disparaging glare that is strong enough to return a strangers attention to his or her own affairs. Doing and being what 's expected of you and keeping up appearances or normally can be a huge burden. This is especially true when life presents you with what you didn't expect and when normal is a concept that rarely applies to your life. Sometimes it's just best to free yourself and simply not give a damn about what other people think!
This way you can stay focused on what really matters and what really commands your attention: TEACHING your child, as best you can, how to behave in a social world.