Grief is hard

 Today we had the Schmidt family Christmas party. All the usual family was there! We had amazing food, fun games and our traditional white elephant gift exchange! We’ve been doing this for a few years and love the silliness of it. our first year I picked the bag with this really creepy monkey head that I swear was possessed and I was terrified that if we didn’t have it out on display it would end up cursing us or something. I was so relieved when I brought it to the next year and was able to unload it on the next person. 

A casual observer would think it was a sweet family gathering with people who obviously love each other! And while that’s all true, just below the surface was this ache and I’m sure I wasn’t the only one. This is our Christmas without my father in law, Bob. I’ve spent much of the last two months focusing on the fact that Theo lost his Dad, Ann lost her husband, and the kids lost their Grandpa. But tonight it really hit me that I lost someone too! I know that sounds a bit silly, I mean of course I lost my father in law and I’m totally allowed to be sad. 

But today on the ride there I was thinking about how it was going to be hard for Theo & Ann. I thought “I hope we can feel him there with us at some point. Yes I believe that our loved ones visit us. (I mean Have you heard about my obsession with Theresa Caputo the Long Island Medium). Anyway we were did our white Elephant game and it came time for me to pick and lo and behold I get the creepy monkey head again! My father in law had been the one to get the monkey at last years white elephant exchange. We all got a good giggle out of it and went on with the game. But all I could think about the rest of the night was the giggle Bob would have gotten out of me getting the damn monkeys head again! 

It’s so silly that that stupid monkey has me sitting here with tears rolling down my face because I miss Bob. He was always so kind to me and welcomed me into his family so easily. He helped us with babysitting and fixing the brakes on the car. He showed up for soccer games, swim meets,  and plays. He didn’t need much fuss or carrying on… he was just happy when we could all get together! 

Revival of the Blog …2024

 Hey Look what i just found! It feels like i just opened a shoebox of my kids childhood memories!  So many of these memories are just so sweet. My last blog post was TEN years ago… which coincidently is when I finally got my first big girl job as a teacher! 

So now I find myself in November of 2024! So lets do a quick check in; 

• Current ages 
• Theo: 49 
• Cathie: 48
• Alexander Ryan: 23 
• Alexis Marie(Alex’s wife) 22
• Leah Nicole: 19
• Ethan John Robert :17
• Current jobs
• Theo: Lieutenant at Truro Township Fire Dept. Prevention Department 
• Cathie: Intervention Specialist for Behavior Focused classroom at Highland Park Elementary School
• Alex: Home Remodeling and construction for Browns 
• Alexis Office Coordinator for B & G construction 
• Leah Nicole: Server/busser Olive Garden 
• Ethan John Robert: Busser at Olive Garden 

Snap shot of Cathie & Theo

Cathie has taught in High School, Preschool, Online, and now Elementary I think I found my right fit. In 2020 the I fell down the basement steps at Binns and broke my back(ouch) also the same year we remolded the bathroom and basement stairs! Then after being in the house for Covid we decided we needed a bigger house and sold our place on Binns Blvd and move to Marsol in Grove City. It has been fun redecorating. Theo was promoted to a Lieutenant and the same station he’s been at for almost 22 years. He’s been on 40 hours for a few years which means we get to have him home every night! One of the reasons I wanted him on 40 hours was because of His  a heart condition. It’s called a Left Brundle Branch Block and while he was perfectly safe and completely able to do the job. I wanted him to be in a less stressful position and less demanding environment. This past spring he had a pacemaker put in. It seems to be helping a lot!  

Snap shot of Alex 

Alex graduated from high school in 2019 and found construction and demolition jobs for a remodeling company is something he loves to do. He’s in love with tools and machines and loves working inside outside, on a latter, laying on the floor all while listening to his favorite tunes. Alex got married! Ahhhh I know, my baby… met a beautiful girl and in August of 2023 they tied the knot. Her name is Alexis and she is sweet, calm, crafty,  and immensely  patient with her husband! They also bought a house, adopted a dog and 2 cats 

Snap shot of Leah

The move to the new house meant a new high school in Grove City. Central Crossing was a little scary at first. A lot of people, a huge school, and not doing it online was a lot of changes for our girl. But as usual she was able to find her way and ended up joining swim team, sang in Choir, Corale, & Show choir. She was performed in plays and musicals. She went on a 10 day school trip to Costa Rica, she took me to see Taylor Swift in the Eras tour (SWIFTIES FOR LIFE)! She finished out her high school journey in 2024. Now she is working on saving some money and figuring out what she wants to be when she grows. 

Snap shot of Ethan 

Ethan was also part of the new school transition and boy did he struggle! We tried to do online for awhile, but it was too easy to get distracted! So we went back to in person and we quickly discovered he was struggling with an anxiety disorder. We also had more testing and discovered not only does he struggle with writing, but he also has dyslexia and that was one of the reasons he struggled. At first struggled  with making friends because of his anxiety but his sister convinced him to join back stage theatre and he made a group of goofy guys that continue to hang around. But despite the involvement in theater he absolutely dreaded school This all created the perfect storm of missing school, not getting work done, and not earning enough credits so we made the decision to switch to working on his GED! It’s not how we planned for him to earn his high school education, but he’s already taken and passed his science exam and is taking prep classes for his rest. His happiness level has improved significantly! He’s working at his pace. Taking the exams one at a time and he has a part-time. He also has a sweet little girlfriend name Lilly that just as goofy as he is! 

Pets

In the last year of Gus’s life we found a little pit bull rescue group that had a sweet little girl whose birthday was the same day as mine so we decided she had to come home with us. We brought Millie home in March nd the next January we had to say goodbye. It broke our hearts to loose our Gus! He was almost 13 years old. 

Well Millie really struggled being an only puppy so for Valentine’s Day I brought home Jack a little brindle boy who we think is a Plott Hound. He is all things puppy even though he’s almost 3 years old. He’s completely obsessed with me, while Millie is Leah’s best friend forever. 

Lucky #7

luck- noun \ˈlək\ 

:the things that happen to a person because of chance : the accidental way things happen without being planned

:good fortune : good luck

:success in doing or getting something

No doubt about it, I got lucky! It was by chance, good fortune that I ended up with a sister like Christie. While I know many sisters do end up to be quite good friends, I have no doubts that luck played a part in the relationship I have with my sister. When we were young children my sister was a playmate and companion. We played Barbie's, roller skated, and watched the Rocky and Bull Winkle show. During out teenage years we played less and bickered more. about borrowing clothes, taking too much time in the bathroom etc. Pretty normal stuff, and when she went away to college I missed her, but life went on. As most kids tend to be, I was quite self centered! I'm a little ashamed to admit my self-centered tendencies lasted longer than they should have and it wasn't until my mid twenties that I finally "grew up". When I finally stopped to look around and take stock of who was around, I was pleasantly surprised to find my sister. Here's the thing though...she'd always been there! I'd just been to wrapped up in myself to realize! The only reason I still had her... was luck!

I don't deserve a sister like her!

I looked up personality traits to describe her and found words like: genuine, patient, orderly, kind, funny, smart, creative, forgiving, generous, supportive, logical, loveable, observant,  rational, trusting, practical.

I giggle at how few of those words describe my personality! (rational? patient? practical?) hehehe

While we are so very different, I like to think that is why she means so much to me! She's the jelly to my peanut butter, the hip to my hop, the cheese to my macaroni, ...she's my best friend!

 

I don't know where I'd be,  Without you here with me

You stand by me you believe in me, Like nobody ever has

When my world goes crazy, You're right there to save me

                  

Life with you makes perfect sense, You're my best friend!

 I'm so lucky to have you as an Aunt for my kids, as an advisor for my problems, a sounding board for my latest scheme, fortunate to have you as the Mama of my nephew & nieces, to have you as a friend! So why did I title this Lucky #7? Her birthday is tomorrow April 7th! And we are all lucky she was born!

Happy birthday Christie!!! 

Broken road

I set out on a narrow way, many years ago

hoping I would find true love along the broken road.

But I got lost a time a or two. 

wiped my brow and kept pushing through 

I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you 

I have always loved this Song. It's called the broken Road by Rascal Flats. The first time I remember hearing it the song brought tears to my eyes. Alex was just a baby, and the awesomeness of caring for another human being was catching up with me. Things were hard and I'd been struggling with school, work, money, friends.... everything and this song made me stop and think.... it's all worth it... all the "stuff" that I've been through and I am going through is worth it.... it's all going to be worth it. I have Alex. 

Every long lost dream led me to where you are

                                                     Others who broke my heart they were like Northern stars

Pointing me on my way into your loving arms

This much I know is true

That God blessed the broken road

That led me straight to you

I spent the better part of my late teens and early twenties a drift.... no real plan or purpose. I switched from job to job, followed a boyfriend across the country because he had a plan & I didn't.... It seemed like all my friends, and my siblings, knew exactly what they wanted and how to get it.  They got degrees, jobs, engaged, took vacations... and I was just floating where ever the breeze took me. Don't get me wrong, I had fun too! Having no real responsibilities, no real plans can be liberating at times. Staying up late, going out dancing, meeting new people, learning new cities, buying that outfit just cause it makes your butt look good!!! . there are days that I long for that carefree life...
There are days that if I have to wash ONE more load of laundry, make one more peanut butter and Nutella, hear the kids argue one more time about who's turn it is, get one more bill....I think I am going to explode..... I want to go back to AZ and float down the Salt river in an inner tube. I want to dance down at Navy Pier to an old Jazz band, to be free..... to be a drift.....

I think about the years I spent just passing through.

 I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you. 

But you just smile and take my hand you've been there you understand. 

It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true...

But then I remember.... oh how AWFUL it was to not know what to do with myself. The nights I'd cry myself to sleep because I had no idea who I was or what I wanted,  the boys I'd try hopelessly to find myself in, and I realize that all of THAT led me to now. I have three kids that are smart, funny, healthy and they love me & trust me completely. I have a husband... who is funny, and smart, hard working, honest, and who knows me better than anyone in the world and still wants me to be his. I'm finally getting my degree doing something that I was always meant to do.... I have friends, true, honest, reliable, hilarious friends... I found my northern star..... the path was always leading to this... I just didn't know it....

Pointing me on my way into your loving arms,

 this much I know is true. 

That god blessed the broken road that led me straight to you 

A decade ago...

The year is 2003 
          The #1 song is Crazy in Love by Beyonce  

http://youtu.be/ViwtNLUqkMY

          The movie Finding Nemo hits theaters

          Lance Armstrong wins his 5th tour de France
          Americans try to rename French Fries to "freedom Fries"
          Arnold Schwarznegger is elected Governor of California. 
          Theo Schmidt & Cathie Tierney go on their first date. 

That's right boys and girls Theo and I have survived TEN years together!!! While neither of us can remember the EXACT date we met, I can tell you our first date was July 10th. We met for dinner at the Martini's up by Polaris Mall. I arrived early and worked out a code with the waitress that if I ordered an APPLE martini that was code for You have a fake phone call at the bar for me that I can use as an excuse to leave! I know it's crazy but I was SO nervous, every guy I'd EVER dated I had been friends with first. Meeting a guy for dinner that I'd only met ONCE was a bit nerve racking for me and I wanted to find a way to gracefully exit if I needed to! The waitress was awesome and even told us there was a happy hour special on Apple Martini's after he arrived. Luckily I didn't have to order one that night, and 10 years later I've STILL never had an APPLE martini!! (I'm afraid it'll be bad luck or something!) 

Its hard to remember what my life was like 10 years ago, I was working Full time, going to school full time and trying to keep up with Alex. I know I was busy and a little stressed, but I remember being happy. I wasn't really looking for a relationship at the time because I couldn't imagine having time for one, but when I met Theo I remember thinking that he was just as busy as I was. Over the summer we managed to see each other off and on and in the fall he went on a trip with his Dad out to AZ. I didn't expect to hear from him while he was gone but one night the phone rang and it was him. I remember being so surprised and at the same time relieved that he had called. After that trip we were together... a couple.... boyfriend/girlfriend.... only neither of said it... we didn't have a "TALK" about it.... it was just the way it was. 

Now it's 2013 and Theo and I are married with 3 kids, a 3 bedroom house and a minivan in the driveway.... We've survived both of us getting college degree's, supported each other through the loss of loved one's, teething babies & potty training, house repairs, and road trips. We've laughed about living the dream, and stay at home parents ground hog-esq days. It's been FAR from a fairy tale romance, but I can't imagine what life would be like NOW if I'd ordered that Apple Martini THEN!!! 

A little old lady once told me, "marry someone that you can have fun folding the laundry with!" I thought she was a bit nutty at the time, but I now I think I know what she meant! Being a grownup/parent is always the most fun... It is hard & exhausting, and having someone that you sincerely enjoy being around makes all the difference in the world! It's hard to imagine what life will be like in another 10 years... Alex will be 22, Leah 18 and Ethan will be 16 years old, YIKES  I don't like the sound of that!!! I want my kids to stay little....I don't want them to be grownups so soon! 10 years sounds like so much time but geeze the last 10 have gone by so quickly!!! 

I have no idea what the next decade has in store for us, but hopefully Theo will still be by my side making me laugh while we fold our 5 millionth load of laundry!!! I love you babe! 

Dog Gone Lucky!

I was playing around on my computer just now and found these pictures. Leah and Ethan must've hijacked my computer when I wasnt looking and took these with the camera in the computer. At first I was laughing at their silly faces and then I found THIS one

Are you KIDDING me with this? It just KILLS me! This was NOT a mom sponsored picture! I didn't comb their hair, or putting them in matching clothes, or try to frame the picture... it was just two kids, playing with a camera and it captured who they truely are... Best friends! 

I often get caught up in the day to day grind of life and parenthood and trying to prepare them for life, pick up your toys, take a bath, eat your vegetables, quit hitting your brother, do your homework and I forget how lucky these two kids are to have each other. They are and have always been best friends! Sure they fight and get on each others nerves but when no one else is looking... this is what you'll find! My favorite part of this picture is their arms around each other, his protevtive curl, her reassuring grasp, they've got each others back! Always! 

12 years of Brian.

People always talk about and/or ask couples how long they have been dating/married. We ask about when they first met,  how long before they fell in love, when they knew the other was "THE ONE"…  but I think we forget that when you start dating someone, or get married you get a family, you get relationships built in to the romantic relationship! 

No one can tell you more about "getting" a family than my brother in law Brian Grube. I always remember when he and my sister started dating because it was only a few weeks after Alex was born. Right from the beginning I felt differently about Brian. I hadn't always been "fond" of some of the guys that my sister dated, but the first time Christie introduced us, I liked him. He was kinda cute, really smart, he had a weird sense of humor that I appreciated and most importantly he treated my sister really well! As you know Christie and Brian dated for almost 7 years before they got married, but I decided after only 6 months that this guy was "THE ONE" for my sister. 

 We formed a fast friendship, and he became my go to "girlfriend"! I called him to talk about boys, school, car trouble, computer issues, and homework help. He was my first phone call when I found out I was pregnant with Leah, He called me the first time my sister had a pregnancy melt down. 

I have never doubted him, nor have I ever wished for Christie to be with someone else. He has always been honest, patient, and supportive all the things I require in a friend! And I Genuinely enjoy being around this guy! 

Yesterday was Brian's birthday, and I wanted to take this opportunity to say: 

I am so grateful for the husband you are to my sister, the father you are to my nephew, the uncle you are to my kids, and the friend you are to me! 

I love You Brian James, Happy Birthday!