A reflective moment

It's the night before the big #1 birthday for Ethan. Everything has been cleaned up, clothes are laid out, the cake is baked & decorated, foods ready, and yet I still feel like I need to do one more thing.... like freeze time. How is it that out little baby boy is a year old already! It's UN-real. I wasn't too sad about Alex turning one, I figured I'd have more.... and with Leah's first birthday, we already had a "bun in the oven" so even though no-one else knew, Theo & I knew we'd be having another baby soon. So I wasn't weepy over her first birthday either. But this one, is really getting to me. Our LAST 1st birthday.... no more brand new baby smell, or little quiet cuddly moment holding a new born... Ethan is already running to keep up with the big kids. From here on out its motion and noise and time on fast forward. Before you know it all my babies will be all grown up and gone.... (I actually have tears in my eyes right now) I just want to scream STOP!!! slow this down!!! AM I crazy or hormonal or what... or does every Mom feel like this at one time or another.... ugh!!! I hope I can keep it together tomorrow..... but if not atleast I'll have chocolate cake to drown my sorrows in.... stay tuned for details of the big day!