Family Pictures

When Theo & I got married back in December I was trying to be frugal and have some friends take our pictures. They got some amazing pictures, but in the end I was sad that I didnt get a "great" picture of all 5 of us together... so I told Theo that when the weather got a little nicer and before the kids out grew their wedding clothes I really wanted us to get family pictures taken. I found this great photographer through my "morman network" and we had pictures taken back in April. They were so fun and we are definetly going to use her again! There are SOOO many great pictures that It's so hard to choose even just a few....

It was so fun to get dressed up again and these pictures remind me again that I'm so lucky to have such great kids and a wonderful "new" husband!

Who says you can't go home?

It doesn't matter where you are, it doesn't matter where you go

if it's a million miles away or just a mile up the road

Take it in, take it with you when you go

Who says you can't go home...

Good 'ol Bon Jovi sure can sing a tune. this one struck a cord with me the first time I heard it, and on my most recent visit to Illinois... I found the chorus repeating in my head...

I grew up in a little town in central Illinois called Lincoln... population 15,000... when I walked out the back door of the house I grew up in... I walked into a corn field. Growing up, I couldn't wait to get out of this little corn town. Everything about it was small and corny and I was MEANT for bigger and better things! I left town the day after I graduated High School and started my quest to see the world. I was young and stupid, but I had some grand adventures and lived in some amazing places. but every time I'd come home for a visit I'd have a pang of quilt for leaving it all behind. Now don't get me wrong I'm not packing up the house and scouting the town for a new house. But I realized that it doesn't have to be all or nothing. So there is only 1 movie theater, and The super Wal-mart is about all their is in way of shopping, for food or clothes, or that downtown consits of 1 square with the court house in the middle.

It's small, but the hearts of the people that live there are enormous!

I went home for a funeral and expected to see some "Old friends" but waiting in line for 2 1/2 hours at the visitation, took my breath away. I can't imagine how many people came to pay their respects, it had to be in the THOUSANDS....but everyone in town knew Michelle or someone in the family and wanted to give their love and support. It was just amazing and brought me to tears.

Then we went to a fundraiser for the grade school I went to, and was greeted by all my old grade school teachers and parents of my old classmates. I hadn't been in the door 5 minutes and I'd been hugged and gushed after...and I swear someone even pinched my cheeks... what an amazing feeling it was to walk in a room and have 30 people recognize you and to be glad to see you!

The weekend also allowed for some sibling bonding time, My sister and I had 6 hours there, and 6 hours back of interrupted sister time. We didn't turn the radio on ONCE the entire way there. On the way home we each took quick cat naps to make up from the lack of sleep we'd had the night before. We got to spend the night at my baby brothers bachelor pad, and I know he's my brother and I'm biased, but that boy is just amazing. He is so funny and quick witted, I just loved being around him. He was so excited to have us there and even more excited to play bartender and mix us up a drink called "The lunch box" I'm not sure I want to know exactly what's in it, but it was a tasty little drink even though we didn't "chug" it like we were suppose to!

But what I got from the quick trip there and back is that while I may never Live in Lincoln again, I'll always be a Lincoln Railer at heart. Part of Who I am today is because of where I grew up, because of the people that surrounded me and because of the lessons I learned in that corny little town

I can take THAT with me... wherever I am...

A life too short

Today was a beautiful day, The weather was gorgeous, I spent the day washing the teachers cars at Alex's school for Teacher Appreciation week. We washed 28 cars today and I was feeling worn out... but with that satisfied job well done king of feeling. I got the kids ready for bed and then came down to check my e-mail and facebook and discovered some very sad news.

My friend Michelle had lost her battle with ALS she was only 32 years old.

Michelle was also the sister of MY sister in law Traci. Our families were close and even though I haven't been close friends with Michelle, she was the kind of person that just meeting her, you liked her. I've loved and adored her family for years. Michelle and Traci's mom, Boo, sat next to my Step Mom's bed every afternoon for months while she was sick. They are the kind of people you are referring to when the saying "they are GOOD people"

I want to try and honor her memory, but I'm not sure how... She was such a sweet genuine person, she had a smile that would light up her whole face, and the cutest laugh! She was lucky enough to marry her high school sweet heart and they were blessed with two adorable kids Avery and Norah.

Awhile back my brother was able to do an article about her and her struggle with ALS, also known as Lou Gehrig's disease, and when he asked her what was the hardest part of what she was going through and even though I can't remember her exact words, it was something to the effect " That when my daughter falls or gets hurt or is heart broken she doesn't even reach up to me to have me pick her up because she knows I cant pick her up... "

I think of how many times during the day my kids do that exact thing... they come to me with their arms reaching up to me and I am cringing now to think of how many times I'm annoyed by this. Michelle would love to have been able to do this simple task and she couldn't. So maybe that is the one way I can honor her..... and her life... to happily pick up my kids every time they ask, and even sometimes when they don't!

I am so thankful to have known Michelle and my heart feels so heavy to think of her husband Justin who lost the love of his life today, her kids who just didn't get enough time with her,.... Her mother that lost her baby girl, her sisters that lost their best friend,... I just can't imagine their pain... their loss.... I'm saying a prayer for them all and hope you will too!

The baby Boy is 3!!!

It's hard to believe that little Ethan is 3 years old already! I registered him for preschool and Leah for kindergarten in the same week! AHHHH!!! It's just crazy! We had a party for all of the April birthdays up at my Mom's house the weekend before his birthday. But he kinda stole the show! He got a really cool superhero cape and a pair of firefighter rain boots and was running around in them all week!! When we asked him what he wanted for his birthday he had said only one thing for sure... to have his friends over for a party, so when he finally decided on a theme "super hero" we invited all of his friends and planned a super fun party complete with capes & superhero masks!. Well when everybody arrived, he was acting strange. He didn't want to play with his friends, didn't want to make a mask, he just wanted to lay on the couch... I couldn't figure out what his problem was.... well we found out a short while later..... he puked! poor kid! He essentially missed his first ever friend birthday party! But the rest of the kids had a great time! I wanted a do over, but he has a lifetime of birthdays to make up for having such a lousy 3rd birthday party! I know as parents, we aren't suppose to have favorites.... but I definitely appreciate Ethan's laid back personality. Sure He can be a stinker, He likes to do everything himself and his feelings are crushed if you don't take a bite of whatever he's trying to share. But he's a go with the flow kind of kid! I cherish those rare moments when it's just him & I and I get to talk to him and hear what he thinks about something. One day in the car he told me something was "LAME" and I just started to crack up! He's got an amazing vocabulary, and surprises me how quickly he figures things out sometimes,you cant get NOTHING by this kid! He also still has the BEST facial expressions!!! It's hard not to laugh at him when he's mad because his face is so darn cute!

He has always resisted nicknames... we call him Baby boy and he says "I not a baby I Ethan John Robert", if you call him squirt, or fella, or any other nickname he ALWAYS corrects you and says "No I Ethan".... but recently he's learned how to write the capital E. Trying to get him ready for writing his name and so We tell him to write his Big E.... and he's so pleased with being able to write his Big E.... that now he says "I Big E!"
I love you SO much Ethan.... Big E... Easy E.... I'm so glad that I get to have a kid as cool as you!

A bag of Pretzels

So 10 years ago today my step-mom Jean lost her battle with cancer. It is almost impossible to believe that it's been 10 years. I can remember the details from that day like it was a movie played in slow motion over and over again... the look on my older brother's face walking out of the hospital... the way I froze... the words "she didn't make it".... the days that followed were and still are a blur... and I'm somewhat thankful for that... but I remember that if felt like the entire town came to the funeral & visitation and I was surrounded by people that loved her. I will always be grateful for all the things that friends did to help her when she was sick, the meals, mowing the lawn, sitting with her talking and telling stories. It's really easy to get caught up in being sad or angry over all the stuff she missed like being able to see her kids get married, and holding her grand babies, but she was never the type to dwell on what shoulda, coulda, woulda... and I'm reminded of a card a good friend gave me

Don't cry because it's over.... Smile because it happened

So it's in that spirit that I want to tell you the story of how Jean came to be a part of me...

My Dad, John, had a crush on Jean when they were in high school about a million years ago. My Dad joined the army met my Mom and got married and had two girls. Jean married her high school sweetheart and had 2 boys. If I finished this with 'and they lived happily ever after' then it would end right here, but as it sometimes happens, marriages don't end with happily ever after, and so it is the case here... when my dad moved back to IL somehow he rekindled his romance with Jean and before long they started dating.

I can still remember quite vividly the first time I met Jean and her two boys, Eric & Chad, (I thought Eric was really cute) and we played out back on their swing set. Now having been a kid my sense of time was not all that great, but it seemed like it wasn't too long until my Dad announced that they were getting married. We moved into a 5 bedroom house over Christmas break and they tied the knot on Valentines Day. I was in 2nd grade. I don't ever really remember being upset about them getting married or about getting brothers. Eric & Chad were alot of fun to play with and for the majority of my childhood Chad & I were inseparable.

Now I'm sure if Jean were here she'd have a different take on the situation but I think the transition to Brady bunch-esq family wasn't too bad. I do remember thinking that Jean had ALOT of rules, we were only allowed to eat in the kitchen or dinning room, no shoes in the house, we had to clean our rooms and do our homework at a desk instead of on the floor in front of the TV. We ate dinner together at the table every night and there were ALWAYS vegetables. I'm sure my sister and I seemed like a bunch of rowdy wild animals,(my father was never a stickler for a clean house and didn't have many rules. My sister and I got away with alot of stuff with him.) so I'm sure being me, I didn't take to kindly to all the new rules and was probably quite the stinker about the whole thing.

As most of you, having kids of my own makes me appreciate all the things that she did a whole lot more! how many meals did she cook? or loads of laundry? How many times did she take me to practice or the doctor or to get new shoes? The birthday cakes she baked, the Christmas presents wrapped, all the normal day to day mother stuff that she did, even though I wasn't "HER kid".... I wish I could tell her thank you... to tell her how much her every day tasks that went un-noticed at the time... made ALL the difference in my life. Who knows what I would've turned out like if she hadn't came along. but the thing is, I know she wouldn't want me making a fuss... she did it because she loved me... because I WAS HERS.... I still am her kid!

the mother I am today is because of the mother she was to me. and so my kids are only allowed to eat in the dinning room, they don't wear shoes in the house and the homework is done WITHOUT the TV. We eat dinner together every night and there are vegetables. When I'm upset... I clean....if I feel like it I bake a pan of brownies right before bed and let the kids get out of bed for one. I lay down with my kids at night and play a lullaby CD too and yes there is always a glass of water next to the bed for when they get thirsty. I take lots of pictures and keep them in boxes with the hopes of some day putting them into albums.

There are so many things that I do that are similar to the things she use to do, but perhaps my favorite is that there is ALWAYS a bag of pretzel in the cupboard and the perfect snack for watching a pre-recorded TV show (she use to record shows on a VHS tape, now I DVR it) or for munching on while sitting on the sidelines of a little league game... or while shuffling the kids back and forth...

10 years is a LONG time to be without you, I catch glimpses of your smile in other peoples faces and hear your words in their voices and sometimes catch the hidden messages in a song. Theres just no other way to say it...I miss you Jeanster!!!

Niece's birthdays

So every year the month of April gets crazier and crazier in the birthday department! I've just figured out that I am related to or close friends with 13 people that have a birthdays in April... and as far as I can tell there is nothing particularly amorous about June/July that would cause the huge influx of birthdays.... but none the less I eat ALOT of birthday cake during the month of April... I'm really starting to like April!!! :)

So lets celebrate three of them who have birthdays close together ALL in April of course, and they are all three my nieces!

Hannah, Chloe, & Francesca.

Hannah turns 17 this year and that is just CRAZY talk....she's always been tall for her age, but the last time she was here she actually had to bend down to give me a hug.... seriously bend down....she's over 6 feet tall! I know she hates everyone "focusing" on her height, but I dream of having her long legs! She really is an amazing lady! Smart, hard working, funny, a total fashionista, and has a slight shoe fetish if you ask me! :)

but this girl is amazing and I just love being around her!!!

This lovely young lady is Chloe, she is also a tall, incredibly smart! She is a bit of a tomboy but that's one think I like best about her! She loves to be out there doing things and will sit still long enough for a good book, but wants her hair in a pony tail and then something to do! She is so fun and has a laugh that makes you laugh too! She tries to keep me up to date with all the "hip" things but usually ends up laughing at me and my nerdy-ness !!! Happy Birthday Chloe! And last, but certainly not least, this little rose is Francesca and she is 3 years old! born just a little more than a week before Ethan. She is an amazing beauty. She has her mommas Italian beauty and her Daddy's orneriness! She'll wear a princess outfit from crown to heeled toe and then burp and giggle as she say shays away giving you the "crazy eyes" ! Her little personality is coming through more and more each time I see her. She's gonna be a heart breaker boys so watch out!
Happy birthday to three of my favorite Nieces!

Celebrating Christie

I'm trying to keep my birthday shout outs going.... Christine Michelle Tierney Grube... your the next contestant in the Birthday Blog Shout Out....

This is My sister Christie and I circa 1978My sister is the only reason I want to have another baby, only because I want Leah to have a sister like mine! We have been through everything together! Throughout my childhood she was one of the only constants in my life. We never knew for sure where we'd be for the holidays or if we'd be spending the summer in California, Ohio, or France... but we knew we'd be there together!

She & I are about as different as can be, and believe me that's a good thing! We balance each other out and push each other where we need to be pushed and reel each other in when we needed to be pulled back! I always know I'll get an honest reaction out of her, even if I don't like what she has to say and that if I need help she'll do what she can!

She is very talented with knitting/crocheting and has made some amazing blankets, sweaters and such. in fact many of her blankets have magical powers and can keep away bad dreams, or help you get better when your not feeling well! (according to the kids anyway) She's been there for the births of all three of my kids, in the room holding my hand, distracting me, and even cut Alex's cord when he was born! She's also the lucky person that inherits the kids if Theo and I get hit by a Bus... but we've been told to never get hit by a BUS!!! :)

I love you Chris!

Happy Birthday Hooker! :)